Grandkids Say the Darndest Things


Grandma—or “Mimi”—to seven grandchildren, Lorraine Stephens is always ready with a camera and notepad to record her grandkids’ funniest comments and observations. Here is a small sampling:

Noah puts on his flip flops and says “Hey, I sound like mom!”

Three-year-old Micah looks at his mom and says: “Your hair is wild—did you have a nap?”

I show Micah his mom’s wedding photo and say, “Isn’t your mom beautiful!” He says: “She is there, but not at our house in the morning!”

5-year-old Micah tells me that if I am feeling sad to just look at him or to someone else I love and I will feel better.

When Mae first met her newborn brother, she looks him over and says “he got no shoes!”

Hollis and I are on a sidewalk and an ant crawls along and touches his bare foot. He puts is hands up and says: “They are trying to kill me!”

Micah always refers to our house as “Mimi’s house.” Papa asks why and Micah very patiently says “Papa, you don’t have a house—Mimi let’s you live with her.”

Micah at 7: “I don’t know if I will marry a boy or a girl, I just know they will be kind.”

Noah and I are shooting a Nerf gun at targets and I am not doing very well. Noah says: “Watch and learn, sister, I’ll show you how its done!”

While driving Lucia says: “Mimi I saw a cop. Good thing I’m buckled in, I wouldn’t want to go to jail…I’m just a kid.”

We are in a restaurant and I ask Micah what kind of sundae he would like, chocolate or? And he says: “My favourite day is Saturday, not Sunday!”

Three-year-olds Micah and Logan are arguing. Micah to Logan: “I don’t want to say yes.” Logan to Noah: “Don’t say no Micah—only mommy says no!”

Papa is stretching, Micah asks why and Papa says it makes him limber. Micah says: “It makes you a limper, why would you want to be a limper?”

41⁄2-year-old Hollis says “Mimi I’m hungry, I don’t want something healthy, I want a chunk of chocolate.”

5-year-old Noah is listing off everything he does—goes to school, karate, etc and ends with: “I am such a busy man.”

I am talking with 5-year-old Micah about my dad who passed way. I put my hand on my heart and tell him it’s okay, I hold him in my heart. His eyes widen in horror and says: “You ate your dad?”

I say to 5-year-old Noah and 3-year-old Logan that they are the greatest. Logan stamps his foot angrily and says: “I am not the greatest, I am Logan!”

41⁄2-year-old Logan was cold. He says: “Mimi…I’m a goosebump!”

It’s a beautiful sunny day in Vancouver. Hollis gets out of the car, puts his hands on his hips and says “I’m just going to stand here a minute and look at the Alps.”

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